Jessica Aguilar: Hollywood’s Loss is MMA’s Gain

Editor’s Note: This story was originally published on WSOF.com (Jan. 31, 2014)

By Frank Forza

More than a decade ago Jessica Aguilar left Houston for Hollywood. Her acting ambitions didn’t pan out quite the way Aguilar had expected, but film directors in Tinseltown would do well to reconsider the spunky 31-year-old Latina whose life is rich with tragic and uplifting storylines.

MMA’s top-ranked female strawweight is one of the few openly gay fighters in the sport and says her megawatt smile masks the pain of her father dying when she was six years old and a car accident that killer her older brother. In heartfelt and extraordinarily candid detail, the Miami-based trailblazer and engaging WSOF champion recently talked about Mariachi bands, luchador masks, being lesbian, acting roles in an Italian movie and the Showtime hit series ‘Dexter,’ and years of hiding her MMA career from an old-fashioned Mexican mother (and what prompted her to eventually break the news to mama).

ON BEING OPENLY GAY:

I’m a very private person but the main reason I felt comfortable coming out in public is that I want people to be comfortable with themselves and not hide who they are. I just want to make a difference.

MORE DIFFICULT FOR A MALE ATHLETE TO COME OUT?

I don’t know when the first major male fighter will come out. I hope someone does it soon but I don’t know when it will happen. It’s easier for a woman to come out. The guys are perceived to be more macho, so it’s different for them. It’s a double standard.

SECRET LIFE OF A FIGHTER

I’ve been fighting professionally for eight years. I finally told my mom two years ago that I was a fighter. My mother worries; she’s very old-fashioned and protective. I didn’t know at the time which direction my fight career was going. So I thought, ‘If this gets really serious and I become No. 1 in the world then I’ll tell her.’

I waited for the right time and I told her. I had to tell her really quick because I had done an interview for Univision that was going to air later that night. I was like, ‘Oh my gosh! She watches the Univision news so I want to tell her before she sees me on TV!’

So I called her up and said, ‘Mom, there’s something I wanted to tell you.’

She’s like, ‘Are you Ok!’?

I said, ‘Yes, I’m OK. I just want to tell you what I do for work because I’m going to come out on TV. Yo peleo (I fight). Yo peleo artes marciales mixtas en el jaula. (I fight MMA in the cage).’

Mom: ‘Que quieres decir con la jaula?! (What do you mean in a cage!?)’

She really didn’t understand, and she wasn’t happy with what I’m doing. She was very concerned about me getting injured so we talked about it a lot more over time. Gradually, slowly, as I explained what MMA is, she became more comfortable with what I do. Even to this day I’m still teaching her.

‘WORRIED’ MOM MUSTERS COURAGE TO ATTEND A FIGHT

My last fight in Japan (in October 2013)I took her with me and she got to see me fight for the first time. That was a very good experience for her because the people in Japan are so respectful. I didn’t bring her to my WSOF title fight (in Miami) because there was a lot going and I didn’t want her to worry. The experience is a little bit different here in the states; there are people screaming, there’s a lot going on.

MORE DIFFICULT: TELLING MOM YOU’RE AN MMA FIGHTER OR GAY?

Telling my mom that I’m a fighter was a lot easier than telling her I was gay.

‘LIKE ANTS’ IN CALIFORNIA

California obviously has a lot of Mexicans but you hardly ever see Mexicans in Miami. People don’t even think I’m Mexican when I’m in Miami ‘ they confuse me for being Spanish, South American or Brazilian because I also speak Portuguese.

When I tell them I’m Mexican they say, ‘Really? You don’t look Mexican!’ But in California, we’re I’m visiting a friend right now, we’re everywhere. We’re like ants in California.

MEXICAN ROOTS

My family is from Veracruz, Mexico. It’s four hours from Mexico City. It’s down south by the beach.
Growing up, we always spoke Spanish inside the home. It’s still only Espanol whenever I visit my mom.

THE MEXICAN FIGHTER

Fighting is in the blood. We’re also very disciplined, really hard-working people so it’s part of our culture and part of who we are. There is no giving up.

THE MEXICAN DIET

I love my Mexican food but I don’t eat Mexican food much during my camps. I do eat the good fats ‘ avocado, nuts and olive oil ‘ but I stay away from the tortillas, refried beans and stuff like that. My favorite Mexican food is enchiladas. My family in Mexico they have restaurants called ‘Las Enchiladas’ and they have so many different salsas, mole, green, red. So I would go with that and the white cheese on top. Ummmm, my mouth is watering now!

MEXICO CITY IN HER SIGHTS

We’re going to have one playing when I fight in Mexico. I’m coming out with the Mariachi band and my own mask. People will be in the stands wearing my masks. It’s going to be really cool.

TRI-LINGUAL

I speak Spanish, English and Portuguese.

ACTING ROLES

I had a role in an Italian film, ‘Christmas in Miami,’ I played a nurse. I was in a few scenes. In Dexter (on Showtime), I played an extra. I was a forensic investigator and we found a body on the beach. But it wasn’t a speaking role, I was just an extra.

I see myself doing more acting in the future. That’s always been something I’ve wanted to do. I’m a professional fighter and that gives me the platform to do whatever else I want to do. So I would love more opportunities like that. I’m actually waiting for a phone call from (actor) Danny Trejo. His manager called me yesterday and wants to introduce me to Michelle Rodriguez, who is in ‘The Fast and The Furious.’

WHAT ACTING ROLES WOULD INTEREST YOU MOST?

I love being a clown so probably some comedies, and I would love to do some action roles, too. There are a lot of actors I like but my favorites are Adam Sandler, Angelina Jolie and Sofia Vergara ‘ she’s hilarious.

TOUGH JOB: CORRECTIONS OFFICER

I worked at a juvenile corrections facility, both male and female. I moved from California to Oregon and that was the only job I could get back then with the state. I would call my mom every day and asking where my nieces and nephews were; I just saw a lot of things going on there. It was a crazy, weird experience but I enjoyed it because I had to treat people with respect no matter what they did. I didn’t know I could do that. I really didn’t like it because I was worried all the time. One thing that was cool ‘ I learned a few (martial arts) moves. So I did my first combat training there.

I remember reading the files before kids came in. The files would tell you what a kid was coming in for; if they were dangerous; if they were on drugs or a violent background, if they had disorders. It was hard and sad to read through those files and see what those kids had been through. I knew I didn’t want to pursue that career. It was too much.

SETTING THE RECORD FOR SMILES DURING WALK TO THE CAGE

It’s a way of me coping. My family is very happy and positive, but just because I smile a lot doesn’t mean that there’s no pain or nothing going on inside. That’s just the way I cope. I don’t like to share the bad with people. I don’t feel comfortable talking publicly about the death of my father or my brother. I like to share the good and the positive. I’d rather transmit happiness, positivity and good energy than the bad stuff. So that’s why I smile so much.

HER WSOF BELT

That thing is heavy! It’s at my house right now. I’m going to buy a display case for it, but I’m not sure where I’m going to keep it yet.